17 Days

It's 1 AM so technically we're at 17 days now.

I can't believe how quickly time has passed. It's no less painful at 17 days than it was at Day 1 knowing that you're gone. At least Day 1 was disbelief - emotions were raw and un-judged. Day 17 with time for thoughts and reflections there comes an additional component of guilt. It's also enough time for people to start bothering you because they think enough time has passed that they can insert their opinions and concerns rather than giving you space.

Seventeen days is both too much and not nearly enough time. It's more time that I ever wanted to spend away from You and not enough time to expect myself to have formed many coherent thoughts.

I went to our house again today, Sweetie. It still smelled like you. That blend of scents that cannot be re-created: it's our laundry soap mixed with deodorant and cologne and hard work and "You". I pulled as many clothes as I could that had that wonderful blend. It's going to be an awful day when that no longer lingers. The "You" part of it... that I can't ever recapture.

I'd give anything in this world if I could.